How to Avoid Awkward Questions about Your Dating Life
“Are you dating anyone?” can be a terrifying question.
I’ve been at work events with a table full of coworkers happily chatting when all of the sudden that question is launched at me with no warning.
“Are you dating anyone?”
My face turns red and my heart starts beating faster as I scramble for an acceptable answer to that question. Depending on what day I have been asked, a spectrum of answers quickly float through my head:
“Yes, I’ve been single for years. Thanks for reminding me! Who are you going to try to set me up with now?”
“A guy just broke up with me, and I’m here to distract myself. Now I’ll just go in the bathroom and cry”
“I’m single, but do you want the 1 hour version or the 4 hour version of my dating history?”
Normally I just mutter something like “meh” and shrug, but I always feel extremely awkward. Despite the amount of times I have been asked that question by people I just met, coworkers, relatives, and even random people at a coffee shop, I have struggled to find an answer that doesn’t end up with someone’s pity or trying to set me up.
But guess what? I have found a new way to avoid all of the questions about my dating life!
“How?!?” Might you ask.
The solution is simple. Get a pet and give it a human name.
This may seem like a very strange way to get people to stop asking about your dating life, but let me show you how it works. I have a cat and his name is Fritz.
Now, let’s see how this plays out in different scenarios:
Scenario 1: Plans with your pet (passed off as your significant other)
If coworkers are asking about Valentine’s Day plans, and I can’t get out of the room before they ask me, I can respond in full honesty,
“What am I doing for Valentine’s Day? Oh Fritz and I are going to keep it low key, probably dinner at home and a movie.”
Scenario 2: Being a part of the Conversation
If people are talking about their spouses or significant other, you can join in by complimenting your pet:
“Fritz is such a good listener, and he loves to snuggle.”
Scenario 3: Excuse to Leave
Sometimes, I’m at work or an event and I want to be an introvert and go home. Instead of saying, “I want to go home so I can drink a glass of wine and watch Survivor reruns” I can say,
“Sorry, I can’t stay late because Fritz is waiting on me for dinner—and he gets pretty grumpy when he doesn’t eat.”
If you throw enough of these phrases into conversations, you will be able to avoid the majority of questions about your dating life (or lack there of). If anyone is ever bold enough to ask in response, “Is that who you are dating?” just give them a knowing look and smile.
You now never have to lie, and you can avoid justifying your singleness to curious onlookers to your life.
If you want to really impress people, you can get a pet and give it a foreign name, like a goldfish named Sven.
“Sorry, I have to go! Sven is waiting for me.”
WITH Love,
Hannah Schermerhorn